Life continues. I find myself at Sunday again, preparing for the week ahead. Ideally this is a day of return for me, a chance to pause and reflect on how things are going, how I want my life to be, and do some tinkering. The same stuff comes up - money, food, reading and writing, free time, cleaning, things to look forward to. Last week was such a whirlwind and I didn't get much of a chance to do the things I know I want to be doing.
Yesterday as Spangles and I were walking home through the rain, I found myself eager to get there, and also to Get There. Gretchen Rubin's blog mentioned the arrival fallacy the other day - the idea that we'll be happy and everything will be perfect just as soon as we Get There Of course, once we do, something else is always on the horizon. We think our way full-speed through life only to realize that um, it's over.
Trace Adkins has a song called "You're Gonna Miss This". The chorus goes like this:
You're gonna miss this
you're gonna want this back
you're gonna wish these days
hadn't gone by so fast
these are some good times
so take a good look around
you may not know it now
but you're gonna miss this
I tried to keep these lyrics in mind as we traipsed down 23rd street. This was that that weekend when we shared a meal with friends, and found our way over to their friend's ironworking studio, where the fires were burning and people stood around drinking beers and making stuff out of metal and a shop cat slept beneath the furnace. The weekend the streets were full of St. Patty's revelers dressed in green t-shirts and plastic beads and soaked to the bone. That weekend we had breakfast at Local 44 with toddlers at the tables on both sides who meandered over and inspected us wordlessly. The one where I lingered in the thrift shop and bought sweaters and an old-fashionedy suitcase, we had fondue at Bren-bren's, where Spangles and I dreamed and planned for the apartment we're going to share. When I had a full delicious Sunday completely to myself, to do whatever I want to with it.
These are some good times, so take a good look around.
2 comments:
I love those moments, I had one too this weekend! Like, aw yeah, I'm defining my twenties right here, and it looks not so bad - almost good!
Also, reading the biographies (and practicing the reading skill "synthesizing") has made me think about the present in a different way -- rather than being isolated, it's connected to the future and the past, and though I might not understand now how this will ultimately fit into the story of my life, one day it will be revealed why I went through all this crazy shit and how that will impact the person I become in the end...
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