Thursday, April 8, 2010

On The Good Fight (this one has a surprise twist)

Today, my car got almost-towed, and in the process of running around crazy to find an atm to pay the extortionist, i mean tow-truck driver, i apparently lost my house keys, which i didn't realize until i got to my door, eagerly awaiting a cool drink of water and the ability to lick my wounds in the comfort of my big blue easy chair. It was not my finest hour.

And yes, as I drove back across town, abundant tears did i shed, doing that rhythmic hysteria thing with my lower lip, sucking in air uncontrollably. and yes, profanity did tumble from my mouth, and curseth i did the name of Lew Blum towing.

But you know what? Forget it. There was an incredibly sad article in the New York Times the other day about a palliative care doctor who herself faced cancer, and besides being incredibly sad, it was also a reminder that some people only get to live to be 41. for some people, that's all you get. some people even less.

so i'm not going to waste one extra moment crying about my bad parking luck. even if Lew Blum took my last penny (which they basically did, but that's beside the point), I know I will never starve, I will never be roof-less, I will never have to make my way alone through the ugly stuff. the important thing is i have my people, and i have their love, and unpleasant circumstances of this variety are easily remedied with a little sympathy and some ice cream and a walk to the dog park to watch the animals play. one thing that having scary illnesses and other life and family crises in your past does is help you realize, once the initial shock has worn off, that tow trucks and lost keys and bad days ain't nothin'.

what's something is the fact that we get to be alive right now, that we get to go through our lives, that we have the energy and capacity to deal with unexpected turd deposits on the road of life and come out of it fine, eventually. what's something is that i got to sit with Spangles today in the sun and gaze at the river. what's something is the out-of-control blossoming on the trees around here, the pink ones that look like they're made of cotton candy. what's something is that we're the ones who get to survive, try to make life lessons out of it, who get to laugh and watch tv and eat stuff and plan things and kiss people and try to make our lives the way we want them.

!!!!!!!! BREAKING NEWS!!!!!!! Gentle readers, as I was typing this, whatever sinister forces i stumbled into today clearly didn't want things to get too Pollyanna over here, because A GIANT. COCKROACH. JUST. CRAWLED ON ME. ON ME. ON MY ACTUAL, PHYSICAL SKIN. WHILE I WAS IN MY BED. THEN SCURRIED AWAY TO UNDER THE BED, ITS WHEREABOUTS NOW UNKNOWN, REPEAT, NOW UNKNOWN. ONE OF MY DARKEST FEARS HAS JUST BEEN REALIZED.

I will never cease to be amazed by what I find I can survive.

5 comments:

Erika said...

Me again. I would just like to share the following from some lady's web site about animal totems:

"The cockroach is all about survival and reminds you that no matter what life throws at you, you have all the tools necessary already at hand to survive even the worst that life can throw at you. The cockroach shows you that you have the ability to know when it’s time to scurry out of the way of danger and also how to survive in all circumstances and environments. And if your see that big slipper coming at you in an attempt to flatten you just know that you have what’s neccessary to move quickly and change direction in a heart beat.

Cockroaches are symbolic of tenacity and longevity.

schoolmarmalade said...

Aw, see? It was a lucky cockroach! But that does not make your experience any less horrifying. I read a quote today that I liked: Adversity introduces us to ourselves. Can't remember who said it.

Oscar said...

As one whose beloved animal totem is the three-toed tree sloth (it eats and sleeps in the same tree its entire life, climbing down said tree once a week or so to do its business - ahhh, the life!), I cannot recommend the cockroach as a spirit guide, although I certainly recognize that there was indeed a message delivered to you by one. Guidance comes in odd packages. AJ

Oscar said...

As one whose beloved animal totem is the three-toed tree sloth (it eats and sleeps in the same tree its entire life, climbing down said tree once a week or so to do its business - ahhh, the life!), I cannot recommend the cockroach as a spirit guide, although I certainly recognize that there was indeed a message delivered to you by one. Guidance comes in odd packages. AJ

Ann said...

>> I will never cease to be amazed by what I find I can survive. <<

You said it! Me, too. Should be engraved on something.

The scope of human resilience is one of the world's great miracles.